Archive for the ‘Tomfoolery’ Category

2012: A Reflection

January 1, 2013 Leave a comment

In 2012 I (and in no particular order):

Had surgery

Graduated from high school

Went to San Francisco

Toured Silicon Valley

Had another surgery

Got a job

Voted for the first time

Bought my first gun

Went to Jacksonville (twice)

Went out of town by myself for the first time

Watched movies I’ve been waiting to see for years

Survived the supposed end of the world

Witnessed 12/12/12 at 12:12:12

And many other things I can’t think of to put on here! 2012, you’ve been good. Lots of fun times! But now it’s 2013’s turn in the spotlight. Bring it on!

Categories: Tomfoolery

A Holly Jolly Messy Christmas

December 27, 2012 Leave a comment

This Christmas I received an incredible gift from my incredible parents (not that they haven’t given me incredible things before, nor to say that my parents weren’t incredible before).

For a while I’ve been looking to get a Mosin-Nagant, a WWI-WWII Russian bolt action rifle. They’re pretty common (some 37 million were made), and pretty inexpensive (they usually go for less than $150), and are pretty cool fully-functional relics. Christmas morning, after opening up a few things (some sweet argyle sweaters, a Steak n’ Shake cup, The Labyrinth on DVD (it’s okay to be jealous now)), I looked behind the tree to find a long wrapped box with my name attatched (a la A Christmas Story). The thing was heavy but I had no idea what it could’ve been. Well, needless to say, after I had opened it up I was very surprised and very excited.

Here's the whole thing before it's cleaned

Here’s the whole thing before it was cleaned


It came with the original leather ammo pouch, strap, field tool kit, lubricant/cleaning container, and bayonet. Pretty sweet, huh?



Mosin Nagants entered service in 1891 and stopped production in 1961, so they had a pretty long history. This particular rifle was made in 1939. Because of its age it (along with everything it came with) was covered in cosmoline to keep it preserved. It’s nasty stuff, really gooey and smells like grease. Thankfully the stuff comes off when submerged in boiling water, along with a post-wipedown.


The bayonet and tool kit are getting all squeaky clean.





The rifle is pretty easy to disassemble, all you have to do is pull the bolt out, unscrew a couple screws, take off the two rings in the front, and slide the barrel and trigger mechanism out! Everything except the wooden stock was placed in a large bin and submerged in boiling water. After a couple hours of re-submerging and wiping, the rifle came out looking b-e-a-utiful. Although the bore is still pretty nasty, but after some more run-throughs with bore cleaning tools and some firing it will be good as new in no time.





Next on my firearms wishlist? A Czech CZ-82.


Categories: Survival, Tomfoolery

Why Yes I Did Partake in the 12/12/12 Festivities!

December 12, 2012 Leave a comment

Which involved posting about it on Facebook and Google+. I can’t exactly remember, but I think I ate a piece of watermelon popcorn (yes you read that right) right after I posted about it, so I guess that counts.

Undeniable proof right here.







But now we get to look forward to 11/12/13 at 14:15:16. And that’s only next year! I’m excited already.

Categories: Tomfoolery

It’s the Beginning of the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (?)

December 1, 2012 Leave a comment

I’ve always wondered if Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. A lot of people seem to get more enjoyment out of going to the beach in the Summer than spending hours at stores buying stuff for their kids only to wait outside a Walmart return line to return those gifts (because they’re the wrong ones! Sally wanted the Justin Bieber in ASTRONAUT GEAR Ken doll!) the morning after Christmas. I certainly think Christmas for me personally is probably the most wonderful time of the year. But I also think that licorice is amazing, but…not a whole lot of people like that. More for me!

But today is December 1st, the official beginning of the Christmas holiday season! **Cough cough Walmart. And Barnes & Noble. And Chick-fil-A. And Tom Thumb. And Every freaking store.** And the beginning of the Christmas season means something special to me and a few others. Every Christmas season since I was in 10th grade my old classmates and I have listened to George Winston’s Christmas themed piano solo album entitled “December.” Winston is an as-stounding  pianist and will most likely bring a tear to your eye some time in listening to December. I used to listen to it on or YouTube before my parents so lovingly bought me a vinyl record version last year….and I’ve been waiting an entire year to finally listen to it. I can hear it now…those record pops and hisses…the sound of the needle hitting the vinyl….the smell of the album cover….ah yes, it’s gonna be a great Christmas this year.











I’ve already spread this tradition of listening to December one month of the year to one or two others, but it would be amazing if this could spread. Imagine, entire websites and facebook (and Google+ as well in my case) statuses saying “27 days ’till I can listen to December!” The desire for the magic of the Christmas season would weal up until people can’t take it anymore, and just when they think they’re gonna pop…December 1st hits, and records come out.

But it is a small special tradition at the moment, and I’ll cherish it that way. Now, excuse me while I get my record player.


Oh yes, this is gonna be a great Christmas.

Categories: Music, Tomfoolery

Today, On This Day

November 28, 2012 3 comments

I have been in a bit of a Nick Cage mood lately. By lately I mean the past few months. There’s something….something wonderful about the actor. In every movie he’s in, he’s always Nick Cage! You can always rely on his dry expressions, sappy jokes, and his hair.









My friend and I just converted our Steam profiles to a Nick Cage theme. Every time we join a game in Steam the other players will be graced with the names “Nick Cage,” “Nicholas Cage,” and some specially chosen profile pictures. This sparked something in me: why can’t we have a day devoted to the man? I mean, the Presidents have a holiday. Columbus has a holiday. Heck, even turkeys have a holiday!

So I, Taylor Johnson,declare that this day, November 28th, be known as Nick Cage Day. Watch a Cage movie! Change your profile pictures! Send a text with your favorite Cage quote to a friend! And be merry.

Categories: Movies, Tomfoolery

In Which a Car Goes From “Blegh” to “Beautiful”

September 9, 2012 1 comment

We own a 1999 Oldsmobile Intrigue.

It….may or may not look that pretty…

Own as in paid for. Bought. Fully. Which is veeery nice. We’ve had it since 2001, so it was almost brand new. But of course, over time things tend to lose their shine, and things need to be replaced. As the Florida Summer heat began to bear down on us, the air conditioning decided to go out. And the window motors had burned out several months before that, so they were weren’t able to go down. Which, in the summer, renders is undrivable.

So we replaced it all. The AC system. It took some work, but now that cold air is ablowin’ and it’s niiiiice! And we replaced some window motors and fixed a couple more. And after taking off dashboard panels and doing some deep cleaning the car is looking like new inside. Ahhh, it almost has that new car smell…..

Except…for the fact that it needs a paint job. And they ain’t exactly cheap. Even if you did it yourself (which we plan on doing).

Categories: Tomfoolery

Some Practical Advices

September 6, 2012 2 comments

I have learned a lot of things over the course of my 19 years on this earth. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean I remembered everything. Some of these things I learned came in handy for a short period of time (I can direct you to numerous tests from high school containing things I never once needed after said tests), others I have remembered ever since. Because I feel like I should pass on these things, and because I feel like I should post something on this website for fear of letting dust settle on it (if you know me, you know how I feel about dust and dirty thi-SMUDGE ON MY SCREEN!!!), I will post some practical, funny, random, and probably useless things I have learned.

  • If someone says that monitor is broken, plug it into another computer. Chances are it will work juuuust fine.
  • If a doctor says “there’s no risk” then GET A SECOND OPINION. Trust me. You ever wonder why half my medical posts are there?
  • Never trust a pirate.
  • See that bag of skittles? I don’t advise you eat them all in one sitting. Because I must have some too.
  • It’s better to be safe than sorry.
  • Do a little background research on the people you make study groups in college with. You never know when one might be a creepy stalker person with a veeeery colorful personality.
  • However, MAKE SURE you make a study group in whatever class in college. They can be life savers.
  • When in doubt, press Up+B
  • The best way to keep the creme center of an Oreo on the Oreo is to twist the top half before removing.
  • If something’s not working, call customer service. You just might get a full refund even after warranty.
  • Mac running a little sluggish? Hold Cmd+Opt+P+R at startup to dump NVRAM and regain a little speed.
  • Just because your glasses are bendable doesn’t mean you should bend them. They might decide to snap at random.
  • Don’t believe everything everyone says. ALWAYS ASK FOR SOURCES.
  • French fries have a shelf life of 5 minutes. Unless you’ve mastered resurrecting french fries, eat them all and don’t bother saving them.
  • Don’t try to hide candy from me.
  • Wash windows with windex and NEWSPAPER. Sounds weird, right? Well it works!
  • If you use a Windows computer then press the Shift key five times. I don’t ever use Sticky Keys, but it makes a strangely addicting beep!
  • Don’t eat too much food on Thanksgiving. Chances are you won’t listen to me though.
  • If you do eat too much food, immediately take a walk. It’ll decrease your chances of explosion by approximately 59.42333%
  • Don’t always trust a single movie reviewer.
  • Hit the deck first, ask questions later.
  • Never ride your ripstik onto an overly-gravely driveway. Your elbow might not ever forgive you.
  • If you enjoy dubstep, DON’T.
  • Always have a cat handy.
  • Make sure your picture frames are level. A level frame is a happy frame!
  • Never forget your camera’s memory card. EVER.
  • Always have a backup camera card. ALWAYS.
  • Never get fizzy Skittles.
  • Never get chocolate Skittles.
  • Never get chocolate Twizzlers.
  • Don’t bother looking for individual Skittle flavors. Trust me, they don’t sell them.
  • If you know you can’t keep plants alive, then DON’T BUY A PLANT.
  • If you know you can’t keep planets alive, then DON’T BUY A PLANET.
  • If your soccer coach tells you not to mess up, then you better not.
  • Don’t eat pork rinds. Because that’s just nasty!
  • And last but not truly last because I might have more on another day: always ask for no ice at restaurants. Seriously, the drink is already cold, why water it down and reduce the amount of space your drink can fit in!


Wasn’t that just fun! I’d be surprised if you said yes. But I guess it’s up to you, my faithful reader(s). Like I said, I’ll probably get bored again and write more about advice I’ve learned. Aren’t you just excited!

Categories: Survival, Tomfoolery